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User blog:DMSwordsmaster/A Look Back at the Worst SR Related Thing I've Made
NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT TRIX 2 FUCK OFF Man, looking back at my activity on this site... I was such a tit when I was younger. A massive stupid tit who made stupid shit. Like the Stick Ranger comic! Or, to give it the actual name, according to its file, the STICK RANGER COMIC. IN ALL CAPS AND GIANT LETTERS. So what better way to celebrate five years of me being a part of the community (Well... Seven technically) than taking a look back at some of the dumbest things I've ever made? SR related, mind you. It would take me a month to document stuff regarding stories I wrote (Hint: 99% of them are horribad). Maybe later. Probably not. What the fuck is the "Stick Ranger Comic"? Well, five years ago, back when I was still a fresh faced youngster, and Poisonshot was a name you said with contempt and irritation, I read a comic on the Dan-Ball forums called the Stick Ranger Comic. I thought "Hey! That's cool! I wanna make my own version!". Except I had next to zero talent in art, and even less talent in writing humor. I'm pretty sure I intended it to be a parody of that comic. But again, zero talent. This is the result. Absolutely stellar, innit? Let's take a look back at this miserable trash and find out why it's probably a good thing I got bored and abandoned it after two episodes. EP1 - THE BEGGINING (sic) Looking at the very first panel of the "EP1", I already spell the word "Beginning" wrong. I feel I should stress I was about sixteen when I made this. A sixteen year old high school student. Who was stupid as all sweet merciful fuck. It starts off in the town and a gigantic black space over the action where a random SR dude and another random SR dude are conversing about the current situation at hand. AKA "MONSTORZ!!! Z0MG". With a Red Smiley Walker intimidatingly rawring at the two. It then kills the rightmost dude, which the leftmost dude finds absolutely hilarious as he spits out 2010-era slang which makes me want to puke today. He then nobly runs the fuck away. He runs into a poorly drawn house I had no excuse to draw because SR has house graphics I mean my fucking god where he digs into a chest (With the monster of the hour being bored outside) before finding a gun! Thus, he becomes a gunner! He then shoots the monster, which has zero effect. Clearly only having a single bullet in the gun, the gunner is then demanded to "Surrender twice" to the monster. (Why else would there be a "2" in please of a "to"? Unless that's yet another stupid inane mind boggling slang thing that fucking stupid younger me thought was HIP AND COOL). Gunner man roars "NO" at him at such a volume that his head enlarges ten times in some stupid attempt with shitty art to indicate rage. The monster is sent back at the force of this gigantic roar. He then later joins three other poorly proportioned Stick Ranger characters that I could not have been arsed to draw correctly saying how they refused to be ruled by monsters. The RSW then hits the ground in a bloody fashion because lol blood and gore is sooper fuhny guiz. So the first comic already has horrific butcherings of comedy, writing, art, and anything worthwhile. And it only gets worse from here! EP2 - OPENING STREET AND A DIFFERENT TITLE FORMAT BECAUSE STUPID LITTLE ME HAS AN ATTENTION SPAN THE LENGTH OF A GNAT'S GENITALIA We begin this excursion in excretion with a stupid boring repetitive gag of our rangers calling the cutesy SR creatures "monsters" and owning them. Which I immediately abandon in favor of making a godawful joke where I showcase just how horrible my artistic skill was. (Seriously, that upside down X-Walker face is probably the worst fucking pixel art I have ever made regarding SR characters). After that and more stupid 2010-era slang, our characters come across the first boss! After giving a stupid pointless filler description of the boss along with more 2010-era slang because COMEDY I basically just give up and have the joke be "Lol there's only one way to kill the OS Boss lol and it takes forever lol" before more stupid boring gore jokes and Creepy Castle Boss Face. That face is sadly the best art I put into this stupid fucking comic. And fun fact, I actually know for a fact what that's actually referencing. Actually. It's a reference to the second page of the SR comic to where, for no reason at all, the last panel of it is a horrific image of the Castle Boss looking like something out of a Tim Burton movie saying how the rangers will fall into his trap. Which I copy-paste word for word because that's how little of a shit I give. I actually have the "Creepy Castle Boss" image saved on my computer. Dunno why. And it ends with a TBC thing that, just like the original SR Comic, never actually came to fruition. But while the SR Comic had a modicum of effort put into it, this shitpile clearly didn't. And it's good it was canned after two fucking episodes. My God. Do I need to go on? This was literally made because I was a shithead fanboy who did stupid shit like that back in 2010, and nowadays I can only look back at it in contempt and disgust. It's meant to be a parody of the SR Comic, but it's completely godawful. And no amount of lampshading past me will do will ever change that fact. Look upon my ancient work of shit and laugh, dear viewer. Because that's what I do. DMS out. Category:Blog posts